Walking Heavy

Last night, I was getting Claire to bed a little bit later than normal. She was really tired and the book she chose to read was really long. So we did a first couple pages and then she started acting really silly, which is Claire language for saying she is really tired, so I closed the book and said we would finish tomorrow. This started off the big fireworks of tears and screams. Five alarm fire. So I throw her in bed (figuratively, not literally) and let her scream it out. So after several minutes of her screaming at the top of her lungs, I go back in her bedroom to try to talk her down off the ledge (also figuratively), but she was at the point where she was so tired, she was just obsessed about finishing the book. "No," I keep telling her, but she is not having any of it, and I wasn't going to cave into her fit. She starts the gasping for air cry as she tells me "I, gasp, just, gasp, want to, gasp, read the, gasp, book, gasp." Over and over. It was breaking my heart, because she doesn't usually do that hard of a cry. But I was standing my ground, not allowing myself to be manipulated, being a responsible parent, right? I felt bad that she was going to have to sob herself to sleep. I left her again, she continued to scream, and after about ten minute Cody finally goes in to talk to her. After a few minutes, Cody comes out and Claire is quiet. What was the trick, you ask?

He went in and asked Claire what the matter was. She told him in the gasping sobs, oh the humanity, sorta way, "I, gasp, want to read, gasp, the book." So Cody asks her what book she wants to read and she says in a feeble, wounded way, "Can I, gasp, go pick it out, gasp." And she gets out of bed, sneeks across the room as if she was afraid that the small gleam of hope she has been offered might be sucked away at any moment and takes the book to dad. She gets in bed, pulls the covers over her and waits to be told the story. Cody reads for a couple minutes, artfully abridging it, and then kisses Claire goodnight. She goes to sleep peacefully.

When Cody told me what happened, I started to cry because I felt like such a crappy parent. I felt like if I would have just thought it out, I could have done what Cody did and instead of her staying up for an extra half hour crying, she might have gone peacefully to sleep. I felt like I had chosen the wrong battle and in turn, wounded Claire. But I knew, without a doubt, that in the morning, Claire would come knock on my door (that's right, she gets up before I do) and be happy as a lark, showing and feeling no resentment at all for what happened the night before. Isn't that amazing. It's a trait I think most kids have. That unconditional love that lets them let go of someone's mistakes. Unconditional love. And it doesn't hurt that they also have a short memory span.

Speaking of short memory spans, Cody operates in a similar fashion to Claire. I think most men do. They can get into arguments with their friends, be pretty upset about it, and then the next morning, they're done with it. No resentment, no awkwardness the next time they see their friends, no apologies, no grudges. It's just done. Isn't that amazing?

And then there are girls. First off, we take offense at everything; we hold grudges; and we have good memories, so we store, categorize and alphabetize the offense so we can throw it in your face when the most opportune moment next arises. Now, before you take offense at what I just said, let me note that this is a very general generalization. I think very few women actually possess all three traits. But I think probably 90% of us struggle with at least one of these (my personal beast is the third, just ask Cody). And it gets so old. My biggest pet peeve is people getting offended for any and every reason. Then everyone has to walk on eggshells around you. And I am NOT an eggshell-walkin' kinda girl. I walk heavy on my feet! If you know me, you know I am always sticking my foot in my mouth, but really it is in good nature. I don't attack people, I don't want to put people in their place, I don't want to hurt people. I am just an idiot sometimes with how something comes out of my mouth. This is why I need good friends. Good friends with short term memories, who every morning wake up forgetting any past grievances and are ready to laugh at Awkward-Remark Brooke. That is who I surround myself with. Good friends.

Now that is amazing.