Friday, November 13, 2009

A Night of Darkness

It was a dark and stormy night. A November nor'easter was flashing its windy, rainy head, flooding the area, ripping off branches and stripping the trees of the last of their colorful leaves. Inside, our family was hunkered down, cuddled in warm blankets, watching the first of our fresh stock of movie rentals, Wall-E. And right in the middle, just when the story starts to get real weird and political for a kids movie, with the fat people suffering from bone loss, the electricity went out, abruptly putting an end to our stormy night movie marathon. Claire's first reaction was to say with some distress, "What happened to Wall-E?"; My first reaction was to let out a wicked cackle and say with some giddy excitement, "Let's play Murder!"; Cody's first reaction was to grab the flashlight and say with some steady calmness, "I am going to load the guns."

Maybe I should preface this story with some important facts that will in some part explain our reactions.

First of all, Claire likes Wall-E regardless of the weird, political fat people part. Second, growing up, when there were power outages at night, I remember our family playing games, like Murder- you know, with candles and the blinking? And thirdly, Cody doesn't normally react this way in power outages. But in our area, there was a storm a couple of years ago that knocked out power for two weeks and we knew going into this storm that it was going to be pretty big, with wide-spread flooding and big winds. And being prepared in emergency survival situations is Cody's forte.

So while I played shadow puppets with the girls and made random ghost noises in the dark to try to scare the girls witless, Cody was piling up the matches and candles, prioritizing the flashlights based on what batteries they took, organizing our water supply, mentally going over our food supply, loading my gun, loading the shotgun, loading the AK 47 clips, and finally, taking a hot shower before the hot water ran out.

What's funny is that you don't really know which parts I am serious about and which parts I am kidding about.

It's all true.

Earlier that day, as we were anticipating the great storm, Cody came to me with a request. "Will you humor me with something?" Now Cody may have great survival instincts, but I have great 'roll-my-eyes' instincts, and anytime I am approached with a request to humor, I know there is going to be major eye-rolling and possible mocking going on. I was right, as usual.

"I want to show you how to load and unload the AK," he said in all seriousness, but with half a smile, because he knows me and my potential for mocking.

[Insert my mocking and eye rolling]

I understand his desire to be prepared and to protect his family, home, and food when calamitous crap hits the fan, but can he really see me using the AK. . . ever? I am more of a mace person. You attack my family, I will mace you. And if I was going to use a gun to defend myself, it would be a shotgun. Back in my Halo playing days, I totally rocked the shotgun- up close and personal was my style, no aiming necessary. Why would real life be any different? (the same question asked many a times by Halo nerds, and the main reason they can't find girlfriends)

As we said prayers that night, just to reiterate what was still her main concern, Claire's final petition in her prayer was that the electricity would come back on and that we could finish watching Wall-E. Morgan and she went to bed, peacefully, exhausted from our extensive shadow dancing. I bid them one final "wa-Ha-HA" as I blew out the candles and closed their door for a peaceful nights rest.

As for me, I wasn't as concerned about the potential rioting, looting, and mass public chaos that a food and water shortage from a prolonged power outage could cause (after all, by this point, the power had only been out for about two hours). I was more concerned by the fact that three kids was not going to be enough to play a good, rousing game of Murder, or even more importantly, Mafia. I was stuck pondering how I was going to convince Cody that we needed to have at least five more kids. I was shaken out of my reverie by the sound of something landing hard on the ground outside. I shifted my concern to the huge, ancient pecan tree in our front yard, afraid that it might be blown over in the wind storm, or at the least, one of it's huge appendages would fall and smash our vehicles. So Cody donned his camouflaged rain gear and braved the rain, wind, and pelting pecans, to move his truck out of the way of danger.

When he came back inside, he expressed to me how pleased he was that he had these rain clothes, and headlamps, and guns, and every other piece of hunting/fishing equipment that he has purchased over the years, feeling totally justified in the thousands of dollars spent, because it all came down to this one moment. This one moment of emergency preparedness (power's been out for 2.25 hours now). For this peace of mind, it made it all worth it.

He laid his head down on his pillow and closed his eyes. For him, this night was the pinnacle of all his studying and practical applications (which, no doubt, all his hours of hunting and fishing are); this was his Hunger Games, his Triple Crown, his creme de la creme, his Mount Everest, his Tour De France, his National Spelling Bee. He fell fast asleep, with complete peace and satisfaction knowing that he was fulfilling his job as protector of our family, more than ready to face whatever struggles or horrors we might have to face. He fell asleep, with his feet metaphorically dug in, ready and prepared for the long haul.

An hour later, the power came back on.

26 comments:

Gina said...

I am serisouly laughing right now. Love Cody. Love you. Love your girls. Such a memorable Nelson family evening.

Wendi said...

Nothin' wrong with knowing how to fire an AK. Sounds like an exciting evening. I've been hearing about it from my family in that area too. Hope you don't get washed away!

Monica said...

Is there really anything better than playing Murder (or Mafia)during a power outage? I don't think so.

As always, excellent story, excellent. I am glad you weren't in the dark for too long.

You have a gun? Like, Brookes Gun? Impressive. And it's a good think that Rambo, I mean Cody, will be there to fight off the bad guys if ever needs be.

Kimo said...

So, as I am alternately reading and laughing through this post, one thing keeps popping in my head again, and again . . . you really have an AK? Like an AK-47?!? Okay, who am I kidding, I'm not surprised.

I was also reminded of one of the first stories I ever heard you tell of your early days in Pittsburgh when you locked yourselves in your bedroom after watching a scary movie, only to have the mirror in the hall come crashing down in the middle of the night wreaking havoc to your little hearts . . . am I remembering this right? Well, even if I am not, I love your stories . . . love to hear them, love to read them - I'll take what I can get! Thanks for sharing!

Jana said...

I seriously don't know how to stop laughing!! I am so out of control that I feel like I should just call you. I think that was my FAVORITE post of yours ever. STILL LOL!!! And I seriously love that you were trying to scare the girls. That is so me. The scarier the better. I miss you guys TOO much. When you are all settled down and don't own the navy anything. . . PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE move to Utah. You can have some of my kids for the murder games. (And let me say, I love that game!!!! The blinking one.) That was an AWESOME laugh!!!!!!

tharker said...

I concor. This is quite possibly the best post you've written to date.

I love the imagery of Cody gathering all of his survival supplies and feeling so very happy with himself and his efforts. Love it! But what I love even more is the imagery of your eye-roll. HILARIOUS!

sharker said...

I concor tuu. I hupe yuo all are duing well. Can' wait tu see yuo goys.

tharker said...

And now my husband is making fun of my spelling. So I spelled concur/concor/concer wrong! Sorry!!! (how do you spell it anyway?)

sharker said...

I concor tuu. I hupe yuo all are duing well. Can' wait tu see yuo goys.

Kelsey said...

Love it. It's funny how a man's mind works. Oh and I could totally see you rolling your eyes and laughing the way you do. I wish I could hear it right now, it brings a smile to my face.

Linda said...

That was too funny! I too loved that Cody was enjoying his survival skills being put to use. And I didn't know that people could own an AK!?! Thanks for the laugh.

Heather said...

We need to have a shot of you with your belly totally loading up that AK47. AND if you happen to do it in front of a Wal*Mart you might just make it into peopleofwalmart.com. Get on it!

Carrie said...

Brooke, I love you so much for this post.

Laurie said...

That was so entertaining. It is early morning here, (the only time I am alone) and I had to cover my face to keep my laughter from waking up the fam. At least you didn't go into labor. I am not sure what camo and AKs would have done for you then.

Rachel said...

LOL. best post ever. Please tell me that Cody has read "the road" if not, I'm totally sending it to you. It is right up his alley. Although, it might just feed the frenzy.

Shells said...

I miss our murderous days! What would this world be like without Cody? And Wall-e?

Jana said...

I just re-read this post. STILL so funny. You really should write a book. But not a children's one. No. A book about your life. Not that it is funny, but that YOU are funny and have a serious gift of making people happy!!!!

Elise said...

So funny I read it out loud to Dave and we're both cracking up!!

melanie said...

I love every bit of that post. I might even be able to get Zach to read it since it mentions guns and cody. I recently found out that he doesn't read the text even on our own blog, but I think this one could lure him in! The part that most inspired me is that cody took a shower right away to get one in before the hot water ran out. I'm glad to see his hygiene is right up there on the list of first things to do in an emergency!

JoDell said...

Oh my! I am cracking up! I don't think I've ever laughed this much while reading someone's blog. You're such a good writer.

You and Cody are such a great combination. I can't believe you own an AK-47! So, that's what a Nelson family movie night is like? Puts our family nights to shame...maybe we need to buy an AK-47.

Bethany said...

I KNOW EXACTLY WHAT YOUR TALKING ABOUT. You wrote this so great. It is hilarious.I remember when the power went out at my sisters and she was all into playing games.
And then, the emergency preparedness and the gun thing...been there. I just find it wierd when they pull out their guns and start talking about them like your their guy buddy.
Great post.

Brenda Dy said...

Brooke, you are a real Mark Twain. I don't read as often as Desi, but she had to call me to read it to me while we waited at the airport in Atlanta. I came home and copied it to put in my letter to Jake. I know he needs a good laugh now and then.
Mom Nelson

Jessica said...

I somehow didn't have you in my google reader. I'm glad you commented today!

I hope you are well. You're obviously safe, what with all the guns and all. ;)

Jana said...

Who is Get Your Eat On?

Jana said...

Tell them to leave pics of the food! :)

Rachel said...

I just got back from Vacation and thought FOR SURE you'd have posted some new baby pictures so I hope this doesn't mean you're still waiting....update?