MMIH and Such

It is interesting how different I feel this year compared to last new years. Last year I was feeling all sorts of daring, all sorts of crafty, all sorts of fire under my butt (no toot jokes, please) to try new things. Not so this year. This year all I feel like doing is simplifying. I don't really want to say that, because every one's new years resolution is to simplify and where is the excitement in that? I would be cooler if I said I want to complicate things more in my life, but you all know I am no way near that cool. A huge reason for this Oprah-esque goal is because we are moving and all I can seem to focus on is how to make our home presentable and desirable to buyers. The answer is, of course, to simplify, be organized, be clean, yada, boring, yada, and paint our baseboards. So that is what I have been doing.

Now the creative side of me can never be pushed under the rug (as that's where all the dust bunnies hide). It's always there, thinking, planning, plotting to take over my life. But it, too, is feeling the need to simplify. I tend to be a jack of all trades and master of none. Yet I have a theory that there is a certain thing we are predisposed to be talented at and if we focus and hone in on that talent, it will be amazing. I am all over the place and I am not amazing at anything. I want to be amazing at something; I want to have that focus. My creative side is telling me to stop dating around and commit to my one and only mmih talent. I have a gut feeling what my mmih talent is, but I am too afraid to say it out loud, because what if my talent rejects me and lets me know that it just isn't that into me. You may have guessed that being fearless also isn't on my list of new years goals. But I am going to court my mmih; you can't give up on your mmih. I feel it in my very bones that we are meant to be together and that we will have a beautiful and creative future. I am serious. I can always feel it tugging at me, waiting to be nourished and developed. This is the year. This is my second goal.

I also just so happened to have been reading a slew (and by slew I mean two) biographies recently. A Girl Named Zippy is the story of an average girl, growing up in an average small town. That's it; that is the plot. I went to the library in search of a book that they didn't have, and I found myself looking around the biography section, looking for a good read. I think it's dangerous to be looking for a book cold, meaning not having had anyone you know say it is good or it is lame-o. But sometimes I like to live on the wild side. And there I was, living wildly in the bio section, glancing over all the life stories of famous people- authors, actors, presidents. None of them seemed the least bit interesting to me. Why on earth would I read about a movie star's life? Please, that's what I read internet gossip for. The book that caught my eye was Zippy, with a picture of a goofy looking baby on the cover. I was intrigued, especially when it advertised it was about an average person. Those are my favorite stories, real people. I love to hear love stories, childhood stories, funny stories about people's lives. I think memoirs are so intriguing because we, as the reader, inevitably puts our own life in the story to compare and contrast our experiences with others. Zippy burped up funny memories that I had forgot all about. Life is funny. Life is dramatic. Life is amazing. Why don't we tell our own stories more? That's a rhetorical question; please don't detail an answer as that will be too Oprah-esque.

That's the third goal I have this year, to record my life story. I have a journal, but it is incomplete. I want to remember the big things, the small things, the things that make me me. I want my daughters to read my story when I am gone, and I want them to giggle.

And my final goal also deals with words. I hope to speak kinder words. I hope to be less judgemental. I hope to be more compassionate.

And I hope to be a size 2. (okay, that one will never happen)

(ps- for those who wanted my recipes, I put some links over on the side. Happy cooking)