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If you asked me, I'd say I have a pretty healthy self-esteem. Not to high, because then I would be Michael Flatley and that just ain't good. I think part of having a healthy self-esteem is realizing that sometimes it's okay to have low self-esteem. I had a low self-esteem weekend. Does that ever happen to you?
You know when you are kinda in a funk and even when surrounded by people you like, you say things you don't mean, and/or you say things that you do mean, but shouldn't have said. You know, when your three year old has realized you have no control over them, and so they decide to act according to the dictates of their own conscience (and the conscience of a three year old is darn near the definition of futility). You know, one of those weekends, when you go to aerobics class with three-quarter length exercise pants, and just as you walk in the class you realize you haven't shaved your legs in a week? Or that the wall of mirrors staring you down informs you that, yes in fact, you do still have those big hips left over from the baby. And you realize, that no matter how much you have envisioned yourself on So You Think You Can Dance, you seriously aren't coordinated enough to pick up the simple step aerobic combos that the peppy instructor is shouting out unintelligibly into her headset (all you hear is "wah, wah, wah, knee") and you find yourself flailing in circles trying to keep up with everyone else all while being awkwardly conscious that the girl behind you is most likely focusing on your furry calves. So then you decide, I am not feeling like myself, so why don't we eat dinner at 4:00, get in bed at 7:45 and fall asleep by 8:30, like senior citizens do. Then you can wake up nice and refreshed, right? No. Apparently your body decides to keep kicking you while you are down by making every muscle in your body ache, causing you to curse every single, minuscule movement that you make. Even your knee-pit hurts. How? Why? Oh, that's right, because you are way, way, way out of shape and a simple step aerobics class has kicked your sorry butt.
Do you sometimes have those days where you just don't feel like you are measuring up? That is a rhetorical question. I don't want you to answer, because I will assume you do. And if you don't, then you are way too annoying. There I go again, saying things I shouldn't say.
But me and my healthy self-esteem can't stay dejected for long. I have a husband who knows when I need a good hug, a three year old who knows how to schmooze me with her charm, a six month old whose smiles melt my cold heart, and a good book to cuddle up and read after the kids have gone to bed. Just what the doctor order.
Monday, February 25, 2008
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17 comments:
You and your healthy self esteem are wonderful Brooke. I consider myself to have a healthy-ish sort of self esteem too, but we all have our bad days. And we are entitled to. Well maybe not entitled, but let's just go with it.
It's okay to have a bad day, or a bad weekend. All that matters is that you pick your sore butt up off the floor and keep on going. Now if that's not poetry, then I don't know what is.
Brooke. My little muser. Of course we all have those days,weeks, months,years. Sorry I was thinking of myself.. But a few days is okay because then we appreciate more of the better days. Thats the way I look at it. So this whole thing goes back to Adam and Eve. Knowing pain and pleasure. That darn fruit.
What can I say. Even your low self esteem days make me laugh. Thanks for poking fun at yourself so that the rest of us can see the humor in ourselves too. Hope it's on the rise. :)
Gee, it's so weird cause I really can't relate to what you're saying. I feel perfect and wonderful all the time.
Pity for you.
I'm right there with you Brooke. I was feeling pretty good about myself, but then I saw a picture that Brian took of me over the weekend and I realized that my thighs really are that big. And then there's those times that I just feel so behind on everything, and my life feels so completely out of control.
But you're seeing the positive even through a cruddy weekend, and that's what really matters.
If you shouldn't say it I'm glad you did. It takes my mind of puking and straight to your furry calves... love it.
I think you look fabulous in all the pictures I've seen here! I love Jan's comment. "That darn fruit." I'm going to be saying that when things are rough from now on. Besides, I think you are brave for daring to enter a step aerobics class. I am way too chicken to go to a gym and do something like that!
Awe Brooke! I hate those weekends! I am so sorry you are feeling kind of down and out. Cooking Gals tonight will make it all better! Your friends and good food...2 other things the doctor ordered.
About that gym class. I thought you looked awfully good. Did you see me doing that mamba? Hello? I am sorry to hear you were having a downer. Sometimes the downer weekends are a good relaxing one too. Minus the sore muscles. I am guessing it would have been better if that wasn't going on.
I must be annoying, because I never have those days. Well, not the exercise part anyhow. :) Everything else is true, I just gave up on trying to exercise long ago, and, therefore, I gave up looking in the mirror. :)
More power to you, Brooke! I'm impressed that you're even out there getting your butt kicked. I could use a little butt kicking. :)
By the way, your recent pictures of yourself would suggest that your conscience is overreacting like a typical girl. You look fantastic!!
Hellooo Brooke. We all have those days, esp. after just having a baby! Speaking of things we should not say...last week in RS I asked a visitor if she was someone's mother-in-law. No, she was her sister-in-law. Oops. She did look really old though.
I hear ya Brooke! I've been having some of those days myself lately. Love that someone else has been sore working out. I just started exercising and I think I've finally worked some muscles that have never been moved before. Not a good sign!
We all go through these times...I know I do...more often in the winter than in the summer. Shoe shopping is my cure all for the blahs...works everytime!
Good thoughts Brooke. I hope you're having a better day today. And yes I agree, itsn't it just like our kids to make us feel better, even in those times when you'd rather stay mad or upset, but you just can't because they've said something to make you laugh and you just couldn't stop? And hey, If it makes you feel any better I just realized myself that I am certainly not an exception to PMS, and yes we all have those days.
never commented on this the first time I read it but since I have had a few good laughs out of the "furry calves" comment I thought I should let you know this post was LOL. (does that make any sense??)
Step classes do that to me too, seriously! Had I been there, you would have left feeling wonderful about yourself, bc let me tell you, I have walked out early of every step class ever b/c of embarrassment, I suck. That's why I'm a great friend to have around, compare yourself to me and you will feel grEAT about yourself!
No worries, Brooke, I scare people with my furry calves all the time. :D You are just hilarious, you know that? And I love you, furry calves or not.
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