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Cody took the post in good fashion. In fact, I think he was down right proud of it- he printed it off and showed it to some of his hunting buddies- I have no idea if they appreciated it as much as he did. Cody has always adamantly maintained that he is a smart, educated hunter--'classy', if you will. "I am not one of those hillbilly, redneck hunters," says he.
Okay, he's no hillbilly, I will give him that. But I have proof positive that the red neck he wants me to believe is no more than just a blush, is getting brighter by the day. Sure he is educated; sure he speaks eloquently (his lexicon is one to be invidious of). But as we all know, once the infection starts turning red, there's no stopping the spread (that rhymed, maybe I have a future in the redneck bumper sticker business, you know how they like their bumper stickers).
And just what is this proof positive?
Country Music- two months ago we never listened to country music. I mean, here and there a good, tame country song we fell in love with, but to listen to a country music station was almost unthinkable. Fast forward to today and we have two dials in our car programmed to country stations. Whaaattt?? It helps him relax and de-stress, he tells me. WHAAATTT?? Oh, well. I guess I can live that.
If that wasn't conclusive enough for you, I have photographic evidence. He says he hasn't lost touch with reality, but this picture shows the opposite. A double negative that leads to proof positive. I am afraid he gave himself away.
He bought Claire a 'hunting' shirt, for her basically to go walking around in the woods with dad, pretending she is hunting. I actually find that a little cute, a fun bonding thing she can do with her daddy. But then one day he dresses her up in her special shirt and I ask him where he is taking her and he says "to the mall." TO THE MALL??? In camo. Au contraire, mon frere. No daughter of mine is going to be paraded around the mall in her red-neck, my-father-might-be-my-brother, viva-la-nascar, camo shirt.
It's starting to rub off on Claire. Several days ago I found her with a wet wipe, stroking her fairy princess wand. And she says, in her sweetest princess voice, "I'm cleaning my gun, mom." Good grief. "It's my princess gun with sparklies."
At least she still prefers her 'gun' with sparklies, because I think I would cry if she wanted to cover it all up with camo duct tape.
(Yes, it does exist, and yes, we own some)
23 comments:
MAKE IT STOP!!!! You are KILLING me. I seriously need you to update your blog every day so that I can get this incredible ab work out daily. That was too funny. I can not believe Claire has a camo shirt. LOL RIGHT NOW!!! Just the thought if it is hilarious. You are one loving wife. And her cleaning her gun. . . classic. Noah started saying, "I kill. . . " and Jason is NOT happy about it. That was one of your best posts. Thanks.
Brooke, can I just say I love your posts? I was laughing so hard at the camo shirt. Once you are listening to country and buying camo for your kids hillbillidom is just around the corner. Believe me I know, I live in Lehi where "Sunday Best" means your least scuffed up cowboy boots and a polo shirt. I am not kidding about that by the way. My entire neighborhood ( except us) is on weeks of vacation when hunting season comes around. A girl in the RS presidency with me has actually shot a bear. It is mounted in her living room. As for the sparkly gun, that is awesome. I am now picturing a 10 year old Claire out in the woods with her dad, carrying around a sparkly purple and pink kid rifle or something. Oh the things you have to look forward too. A couple years from now you will be out there with them, waitin' in the trailor to skin the meat. :)
Love it! Ha ha ha. We started listening to country music, too. We decided it's the most patriotic and the cleanest of all the music we could listen to on the radio today (minus classical/non-word music). :)
I love your writing. It keeps me in stitches. It's so nice to read someone who can make me laugh. I agree with Jana...could you update your blog every day? :)
P.S. Love the camo shirt, Claire!
"Redneck, my Father might be my brother, viva la nascar shirt."
AWE.SOME. What is he doing to that sweet little princess? Pretty soon, she'll be saying in that same little princess voice, "Die, Bambi, die" all while holding her fairy gun!
I never for a million years would have thought that Cody would be "relaxing" to Country music.
Hilarious post. I send my condolances along with my laughter!
I never expected that you would be married to a hillbilly, Brooke. Aren't people on the East Coast supposed to be polished and proper? (I heard once that they don't wear jeans, just slacks. I dunno.)
Oh boy. Maybe my hubbie can be to blame? I remember Peter telling me stories of when Cody was his roommate...they would stay up until unknown early morning hours watching the Discovery Channel. Yes, the Discovery Channel. At BYU. Wasn't there anything else to do? Some girls to hang out with? Some dance to crash? Pete said they would watch fishing shows, hunting shows, and of course a few "these amazing animals can kill you if you get to close" shows. Was that the beginning of Cody's 'love' for hunting? Oh, I hope we aren't to blame...
But, we lived out there in the east and remember not having much to do with what free time we had. Everyone (and I mean everyone) in Ohio hunted. You were lucky to get through THE Wal-mart aisles on Saturday morning without being shot by all the people walking in and out of the store with their camo on and plastic bags full of ammo.
Just for the record, Pete starting listening to country music while working in Ohio. I couldn't believe that he knew the lyrics to so many songs! We moved a few months later...
Hilarious! I agree, you definitely need to update more often cause that just got my day off to the right start!
I offer my condolensences...hunting is something I have never understood and probably never will, but your witty way of describing it made me at least appreciate the humor it brings.
Yeah, have fun with that.
Alyssa just walked up and said, "Is that little girl wearing a boy's shirt?!?"
You are cracking me up, Brooke! I love your description of her camo shirt! And country music? What's up with that?
I have to admit..I hope Cody keeps up the hunting just so we can have more of your posts on the subject!
That is too funny! Yes, I have to admit, the whole walking in the woods with daddy is super cute but I agree with drawing the line at any public place. I can't believe she was polishing her "gun". I love the clue line stuck in there too.
Thats hilarious! Oh man. I've always liked country music, so I can't say that would bother me, but that shirt is awesome. Its total outdoorsy camo... not even trying to be cute. So is Cabela's Cody's new favorite store?
Wendi's right... couldn't cody have found a cute camo shirt??
SERIOUSLY... at least if he starts mounting things you can ask him to take them to his dental office in the near future. :)
Brooke, you are so patient. There is no way I would let my husband become so involved in hunting or buy our girl camo. Cody is lucky to be married to someone so understanding.
Such a funny post. I agree with everybody else, I could definately use a daily dose of Brooklet (and the funny things that Claire & Cody does). Polishing her sparkle gun -- that girl cracks me up.
You should be sainted. Seriously.
This is so funny. Still laughing about about it. You really should write more often. And also, there were quite a few Clue quotes thrown into the mix, Excellent!
Is this just a phase with Cody? Does it go against the fly fishermans ethic? Have fun with it.
Laurie, it sounds like another world over there in Lehi- she has the bear mounted in her livingroom, WHAT??? Cody jokes about putting dead animal parts up in our house, but I rest peacefully knowing he is only joking.
Wendi, the closest Cabela's is an hour away in West Virginny and we have been there twice as a family trip.
And there is just something so comforting about putting Clue quotes in my posts. Its like coming home to a warm, cozy blanket.
Too funny - cody and claire provide such amusement to my life!ummm...I don't know if Cody's joking about the dead animal decor - he's on a slippery slope my friend, I expect to see antlers in your house shortly!
Don't shun me, but I think Claire looks kinda cute in the camo shirt - now she needs some carhartt coveralls!
I obviously need to memorize the script to Clue, b/c apparently I'm missing out on lots of inside jokes here!
OK that was too funny! What is it about Dental School that turns our husbands into hunters? It is scary that when the soon to be dentists have some down time they either go hunting or play Halo...they have a need to kill something! The scariest of all is the country music! There are some things that are imperative that you nip in the bud!!!!
Once again you have made me LOL the whole way through your post! That is great! I love the wand part...way too funny! Atleast she looks adorable in her camo shirt :)!
Yes, Brooke, Lehi is a different world. Did I mention that there is a Cabela's right up the road from me? By the way, I just wanted to say that I am so glad there are others out there who love Clue as much as my family does. My favorite line is, "Somebody help me please. SOMEBODY HELP ME PLEASE!" (As Mr. Green tries to catch the dead cook...) But I bought a pair of $5 sunglasses from Old Navy this past summer to keep in the car as I am driving. They were black with white flames on the sides, but hey, they were $5. Everytime I put them on I just HAD to say, "Flames, on the side of my face..." Everyone around me not in my immediate family thought I was nuts, I am sure. Anywho, I am glad there are other kindred Clue spirits out there.
Your husband's obsession with hunting is how I found your blog. I find lots of joy and entertainment from your writings. Therefore I'm grateful he hunts and hence grateful he's raising another hunter. Who's to say what you will come up with when your daughter goes on her first sparkly gun hunt (I'm sure that requires a permit).
Has he started watching "huntn'" shows on tv yet? And with the children? Does he have the children excited about "buck sausage" for breakfast? That's really when it goes too far. Or when he brings a black bear rug home (head and fangs and claws attached) to hang on the ceiling of the bedroom. Nice.
Brooke. I am married to a redneck also. I know your troubles. Every evening, my husband and daughter do crafts together. As in making fishing lures and then they will go and put together an engine in the shop. She had a whole camo outfit when she was little. But my redneck can't take the girly girl out of her. If he does, I'll turn redneck and hunt him down. Oh my little Mia Maid Brooke. Your so funny.
Oh Brooke, your tales make me LOL!!! Thanks!
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