Sunday, April 15, 2007

A True Lady

Last night, Cody and I hired a babysitter, dressed up in our finest clothes, and headed out to the Dean's Scholarship Ball where we caught a glimpse into the life styles of the rich and self-important. The tickets to these were $200 a piece, which is equivalent to about two weeks of groceries for us. We didn't purchase the tickets, obviously. We just snuck in. Psych! The father of someone Cody had helped at school gave away the tickets because he couldn't go. So here Cody and I go to a dinner in our very finest, which for Cody meant his suit, and for me meant a black wrap-around maternity dress. But finest for everyone else there meant full-on tuxedo's and Miss USA style gowns. Lots and lots of cleavage. So we felt a bit out of place (not that I don't have cleavage!), but there was no way I was going to buy a maternity formal- just not gonna do it. The dinner was held at the Dusquene Club, which had random sitting rooms of wealthy old people scattered around, baracaded off by a 'members only' sign. The whole thing seemed like Robin Leech meets nursing home. But the building, which was a historical building, was very ornate and beautiful.

The dinner was nice. I honestly don't think I have ever had a dinner served to me in courses (except when we use to play restaurant with Monica and Michelle where we had bread for the first course and top ramon as the main course). The best part of the dinner was the filet mignon-yum. I even had a pear walnut truffle- as I sat eating it, I had the thought that I don't think I had actually ever had pear pie before, even though my family makes it all the time. The truffle was okay, just not good enough to finish. I just don't like fruit desserts. So sue me.

We sat at a table with a nice yet arrogant oral surgeon and his wife, and their guests- their kids school teachers and spouses. I really don't think I have ever been in such a fancy situation, so I was extremely self-conscious about my manners- table manners that is. As I tried to dantily hold my fork while I cut my steak, I thought to myself- I ha te manners!! It would have been so much easier to dig in, with elbows out, and a firm grip on my fork. Whatever. I really panicked when I went to the 'powder room' and they had a maid in there handing out towels. Woooaaa! It was such a schmancy bathroom that I was really self-conscious about just using the potty. I giggled to myself (honestly I was trying to hard to keep the giggles quiet) as I sat there thinking how absolutely hysterical it would be to hear one of these fancily dressed women toot while they were sitting on the pot. I was dying at my own imagination. I am so not mature.

So after dinner and dancing, they gave away door prizes. Some were really fancy- like weekend get aways at resorts and stuff. I kept thinking, why are all these millionaires getting those kind of gifts- they can just pay for it themselves, filthy rich people. At functions where they have door prizes I usually win really dumb things like a stuffed Aflac duck or a poster of Ogden. So I was really suprised when they called my name. I didn't hear what I had won, so I went up to the table and there were all these gift baskets of bottled wine and cheese. Great. Just what a pregnant, mormon needs. But they pulled out an envelope from the table and handed it to me. A gift certificate to Le Mont restaurant (apparently another schmancy restaurant I had never heard of). Not bad. But I will be danged if I am going to care about how I hold my fork when I devour my steak.

Mom, you should be real proud of the fine little lady I have become!

9 comments:

tharker said...

I had the same thought about the fancy ladies letting air in the bathroom! I'm picturing you doing your business, trying soooo hard not to laugh out loud. I'm rolling!

Congrats on the prize.

tharker said...

I can't believe this is the kind of chatter that goes on amongst you women folk. I thought women were beings of refinement, grace, and charity. Abounding in subjects that didn't involve dookie, letting air or other items that are soooo indulged by the members of the opposite sex.

Spencer

tharker said...

Isn't my husband silly?

Liz said...

I have never laughed so hard in my life! You should write a book. You're hilarious. I could totally picture you giggling on the pot. I can hear your laugh in my head now. Poor Dan, I kept making him listen while I read parts of your blog to him because I thought it was so funny I couldn't keep it to myself!

Tiffany J said...

So I can't figure out another way to say hello on your blog site so hopefully you check your comments :0) I saw the link to yours from Liz's site. Anyway, if you couldn't figure it out its Tiffany (Brice) Jenkins. Your daughter is so cute, she looks a lot like you. I scrolled through some of your past blogs trying to figure out when you are due but I have now spent too much time on the computer... so when are you due with baby number two? I would love to catch up. Email me, tiffyjjenkins@gmail.com

Monica said...

What a hoot! I am laughing so hard.

And if I remember correctly, and I think I do, sometimes we had grilled cheese for the first course. And plus you had your choice of beverage (water, ice water, warm water). Maybe we should have also practiced our manners back then...

Brooklet said...

Right Spencer. Speaking of refinement, grace, and charity, do you remember when I was little- you were in high school and you poked a straight pin in my butt??? Do you remember that!!! That blew any chance I had at grace and refinement, much less charity.

Brooklet said...

Hey Tiffany, welcome to my blog! I just sent you off an email, so I hope you write back and keep visiting my blog once in a while. Its great to hear from you!

Shells said...

Fancy Shmancy. I know exactly how you felt, I felt the same way at Tom's work Christmas party. The sad thing is that the ball (and Tom's party) are probably the highlight of many of these people's year. Many of the women that Tom works with talked and planned for the party like it was their senior prom. I'm thankful that I have much better high lights for my year.