A True Lady

Last night, Cody and I hired a babysitter, dressed up in our finest clothes, and headed out to the Dean's Scholarship Ball where we caught a glimpse into the life styles of the rich and self-important. The tickets to these were $200 a piece, which is equivalent to about two weeks of groceries for us. We didn't purchase the tickets, obviously. We just snuck in. Psych! The father of someone Cody had helped at school gave away the tickets because he couldn't go. So here Cody and I go to a dinner in our very finest, which for Cody meant his suit, and for me meant a black wrap-around maternity dress. But finest for everyone else there meant full-on tuxedo's and Miss USA style gowns. Lots and lots of cleavage. So we felt a bit out of place (not that I don't have cleavage!), but there was no way I was going to buy a maternity formal- just not gonna do it. The dinner was held at the Dusquene Club, which had random sitting rooms of wealthy old people scattered around, baracaded off by a 'members only' sign. The whole thing seemed like Robin Leech meets nursing home. But the building, which was a historical building, was very ornate and beautiful.

The dinner was nice. I honestly don't think I have ever had a dinner served to me in courses (except when we use to play restaurant with Monica and Michelle where we had bread for the first course and top ramon as the main course). The best part of the dinner was the filet mignon-yum. I even had a pear walnut truffle- as I sat eating it, I had the thought that I don't think I had actually ever had pear pie before, even though my family makes it all the time. The truffle was okay, just not good enough to finish. I just don't like fruit desserts. So sue me.

We sat at a table with a nice yet arrogant oral surgeon and his wife, and their guests- their kids school teachers and spouses. I really don't think I have ever been in such a fancy situation, so I was extremely self-conscious about my manners- table manners that is. As I tried to dantily hold my fork while I cut my steak, I thought to myself- I ha te manners!! It would have been so much easier to dig in, with elbows out, and a firm grip on my fork. Whatever. I really panicked when I went to the 'powder room' and they had a maid in there handing out towels. Woooaaa! It was such a schmancy bathroom that I was really self-conscious about just using the potty. I giggled to myself (honestly I was trying to hard to keep the giggles quiet) as I sat there thinking how absolutely hysterical it would be to hear one of these fancily dressed women toot while they were sitting on the pot. I was dying at my own imagination. I am so not mature.

So after dinner and dancing, they gave away door prizes. Some were really fancy- like weekend get aways at resorts and stuff. I kept thinking, why are all these millionaires getting those kind of gifts- they can just pay for it themselves, filthy rich people. At functions where they have door prizes I usually win really dumb things like a stuffed Aflac duck or a poster of Ogden. So I was really suprised when they called my name. I didn't hear what I had won, so I went up to the table and there were all these gift baskets of bottled wine and cheese. Great. Just what a pregnant, mormon needs. But they pulled out an envelope from the table and handed it to me. A gift certificate to Le Mont restaurant (apparently another schmancy restaurant I had never heard of). Not bad. But I will be danged if I am going to care about how I hold my fork when I devour my steak.

Mom, you should be real proud of the fine little lady I have become!