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This post contains some depressing and ruthless venting. If you are expecting a funny or happy-go-lucky post then stop reading now. I mean it. And if you do continue don't you even dare to try to post some uplifting or semi-comforting comment at the end. This is not one of those posts. It is strictly a raunchy vent. This is me downloading on all the things that I just can't stand right now in my life (see not a pretty post).
First off, I can't stand it when anyone uses computer terms to describe anything but computers.
Second, are you considered truly crazy when you are lucid enough to realize you are being crazy? I don't know. But I do know when I am being crazy and lately I have been having quite a bit of those scary moments. Pregnancy brings it out of me when combined with the potent power of an almost three year old's temper! In the last two days I have had two, count them, two break downs [I define break downs as when I sob out loud- not just tears, but the loud, trumpet of the swan type cries, for a long period of time (I define long period of time as over two minutes)]. Yesterdays I was pushed over the edge by a pair of poopy lady bug panties. Enough!! For three weeks, I have been painstakingly (not an exaggeration) putting Claire in panties, taking her to the potty ever hour, begging, pleading, bargaining to make her go pee. We had good days, with no s, and then we had bad, bad, terrible, horrible, no good, very bad days where we had after (the ones that got me most were the ones when she was standing right next to the toilet and choose instead to go in her panties). I thought that if I just worked hard enough, she would pick it up. Nope. She just doesn't care. She knows how to go, she can control those muscles, but she just doesn't care. I have been ushering her to the potty and cleaning up s with an eerie calmness for three weeks. But after two peepees and a poop yesterday, I suddenly snapped. I finally just put her back in a diaper. But I felt like I was failing; I was so upset that I had invested all that time for nothing. I cried and sobbed, all crazy like. Even as I was sobbing, I knew I was way overreacting, but I just couldn't be consoled. I even had to take a shower, just to be by myself so I could sob. Cody came home while I was in the shower and Claire told him I had tears, so he came in asking what was wrong and I was still, still sobbing out loud (going on 10 minutes). I told him I just needed some time alone. It honestly took me sometime to digest that its okay if she isn't potty trained. Then when I got out of the shower, I was more embarrassed to have to explain to Cody the reason for my melt down.
Then today I broke down when I was all ready and prepared to go to the store, when I notice that Cody had completely taken apart Claire's car seat to clean it. I mean completely disassembled- straps, metal hooks, plastic caps- all floating around and I hadn't a clue how any of it went back together. At that moment I was so frustrated and upset that once again I started to cry and sob. Well, Claire starts crying, too, because every time I cry she pretends that she has an ouchie on her finger. I just think it freaks her out that I cry. So I have a short cry, control my sobbing, and then calm down enough to comfort Claire, kiss her finger better, and take a chill pill. Seriously, I am down right ashamed at what a weak bag of chicken feed I have been.
Speaking of weak chicken feed, I that I am such a milktoast with any type of conflict as a primary president. Milktoast! I try to avoid it at any cost.
I have lost track at what number I am on, so I will just begin with fifthly, I that I don't always speak up when I feel someone is being rude and petty. So should I have said something? Shouldn't it be the role of a good friend to tell another friend when something they say could be considered offensive to other people. But how do you do this? Whenever I have had someone do this to me (mostly family members, because they don't mind being honest) I feel incredibly stupid and I immediately get defensive. Remember my comment about being a milktoast above. Same thing applies to friendships. I like to avoid conflict at all costs!!
Okay, I am done. I offer no apologies.
Thursday, March 29, 2007
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9 comments:
I'm all for no apologies. I will not be offering any comforting or consoling advice here.
1.) I hate, hate, hate, hate, hate, hate, (have I said it enough?) POTTYTRAINING! Do you remember Hannah choosing not to poop for 8 blasting days in Utah? Enough said. Do you remember Josh doing "his favorite poops" on my couch? Enough said. I feel your pain! Sob uncontrollably all you want. Been there, done that. It helps.
2.) Crazy crying is part of woman hood and pregnancy. We can't escape it. And our husbands are captive to our crazy rants. I do believe that's in the vows. "For better, for worse. Through crazy and tears..."
3.) I avoid confrontation at all costs too. Yes, something should have been said, but...it's MUCH easier said than done. I probably would have done the same as you.
4.) These comments are in no way to be construed as comforting or consolling.
Sometimes, life can be very crappy.
I hope your venting session has made you feel better, because I am sure that nothing any of your commenters will say will make you feel better (per your request), and I certainly don't intend on making you feel better with my comments (Well, I might sneakily say something that might give you some sort of comfort and let you know that your are truely an amazing person, but if it did that, rest assured, it will be well hidden).
Wetting pants is a thing kids do-- you really can't force a kid to pee in the toilet...
Even if you think they are old enough. Kids will...
Learn and do it on their own when they are ready. Maybe she will be more ready in...
One or two months. She is still only 2, no need to be in a...
Very big hurry.
Everyone knows snotty people. I too avoid confrontation at all costs. But I am not afraid to say stuff like...
"You know, some of that other stuff is really good too."
Oh yeah, I hate computer analogies too, I usually don't...
Understand them. And as my YLF always says, life is full of disappointments.
Nice cryptic message there, Mon. But I agree.
Okay, your comments were comforting, and I appreciate them. I think venting helped.
Just to let you know, we went through the same pottytraining problem with Alyssa. I do't know how many times I found myself saying, "She is so smart! She understands, she knows...she just doesn't care!" We put her back in diapers for a month or two, then when we tried again it seriously took only a day. They definitely decide when they're ready.
And another thing...
When we were working on pooptraining, and she was old enough I would give her cold baths when she'd have an accident. This meant that she would stand in the bathtub and I would splash cold water on her bottom to clean her up.
Then one night Brian was watching her while I was gone, she had an accident, and he remembered that I had said I give her cold baths. "That's a little harsh," he thought, "but I've got to stick to the program." So he filled the bath tub with cold water, and made her get in. I don't think we had any problems after that.
I did the cold bath with Josh too. Except that he actually like it and thought of it as swim time. So then I added a handful of ice cubes and that did the trick. It was no longer fun.
Now that's mean!
You are going to hate me because I have been touched by the pottytriaining Gods not once, but TWICE. I'm sure any attempts at training Sienna will make me run for the hills with a cow on my back but I was very lucky. "Toilet Training in Less Than One Day" by Azrin was my guide and it worked like a dream. I know, I hate me now too.
But I'm all for crying and throwing personal tantrums. It's the right of womanhood so don't ever feel bad about it.
I'm hope the vent made you feel better. I know it always does me. Hang in there.
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