Thursday, November 16, 2006

Wiping up the mud

I haven't posted anything is several days, even though I have started three different drafts. I just feel a bit uninspired and bundled down by a recent event that seems to be clouding over everything in my life. I don't mean to set you at alarm, because it really is insignificant and yet I have created a permanent little resting spot for it inside my chest- and with everything I do, it's right there, just below the surface, tugging on me.


I have seen the darkness and destruction of gossip in people's lives and to think that now I am in the place of the ones throwing the mud behind closed doors, I feel horrible. I find it oddly satisfying to topple down people whom I feel build themselves up in pride. But the truth of it really is, most likely that person is doing that because they have tremendous insecurities, and how destructive would it be for them to know other's are talking about them, criticizing. I don't like who I am becoming. That is the dark gloom that has been hanging over me, the ugly stain of gossip, and my struggle with how to resist the temptation when I am with my friends.

I am extremely ashamed about what have I wrote, but I feel an obligation to the blog to be honest about my feelings. What would be the point of me sharing my superficial feelings while I am dealing with this. I abhor all things that put on appearances, and I don't want to be one of them. Its another one of those things, that once publicly acknowledged, I can't just ignore- I have to work to overcome these temptations! And that's all I have to say about that.

7 comments:

PRP said...

Don't be so hard on yourself! Gossip is one of Satan's greatest tools and it's hard not to fall prey to it from time to time but it's not who you are. Even from the little time we've spent together, I KNOW it's not what you're about, so try to be thankful for the reminder as to the perils of gossip and get back to being who you are, which is a wonderfully kind person. It's something everyone has to work on so give yourself a break and focus on your many great qualities.

tharker said...

Seriously!!! Could Karen have said it any better??? Brooke one of the many things that I adore about you is your awareness of others and their feelings. You are awesome, so don't let this cloud hang over your head for too long!

Stacia said...

Brooke, this is Stacy "Thornton", I don't know if you remember me. I found your blog through one of the girls here. Anyway, I love that you are honest on your blog. I know how gossip can make you feel terrible. But you have tried to correct it and at LEAST you acknowledge how destructive it can be. A lot of people thrive off of it and never give a second thought. Kudos to you!

Brooklet said...

Of course I remember you Stacy! It is good to hear from you and thanks for you encouraging words- thanks to all of you for your encouraging words- it really does make me feel a better- that is the power of a kind word.

Monica said...

Wow, that is some good advice from all the fellow commenters. Brooke, nice job on calling the secretary to talk about it with her since she was the one involved. Sometimes it takes a lot of nerve to call someone that we may have offended or that may have offended us, but you stepped up to the plate. Good job.

Hi Stacy!! Do you have a blog too? If so, can we read it too??

Stacia said...

Yes, you can read my boring blog! :)Since I have been reading all of yours!
http://staciadawn.blogspot.com/

Shells said...

So I've been contemplating for a long time on what I wanted to say on your blog. If I'm not mistaken, you were trying to avoid having a party on the Sabbath. I think as long as your are delicate about it, that it is important to stand up for what you know is right. If you are as kind as you can be (and I know you were), then it is not your fault if other people get mad or become offended. With that in mind, think about what I do on the Sabbath to avoid offending people and tell me if I follow my own advice.

As for the gossip, I laughed so hard when I heard about Cody's part after he told you not to say anything. Sounds like Cody and I both know how to dish out advice, but need to work on following it.