An Open Shut Case

Well, I think it rightly about the time for another highs and lows for the week posting. Last time I did a high and low, it was right after I had completed my high-which inspired me to write. This time, unfortunately, it is right after the low.

So lets start with the low and get it over with. My life is an open book- I've never done anything wrong. . . except I did try to jump over the tennis net when I was in 7th grade, and I didn't make it. . . I don't know if it's just that Claire has been sick for two weeks, or that she has been indoors for two weeks, or that she is just two- but I am having a difficult time with her right now. Everything is a fight- put on your pants- big fight- let me comb the boogers out of your hair- big fight- let me blow your nose-okay, she likes to blow her nose- mom eating string cheese when Claire doesn't want her to-big, big tantrum. It has worn me thin and today I flipped out! I yelled at her and stuck her in her room because I was going to lose it big time. Then when I calmed down, I started to feel completely ashamed that I had lost my temper in such a deplorable fashion. It was one of those moments where you don't recognize yourself- I never wanted to be a mom that lost control and yelled. I blame it on hormones, because when in doubt, blame it on hormones. As further proof that it was hormones, let me tell you what happened when I voted today. I went to vote for the first time, ever. I know that's bad since I have had 7 years of voting opportunity. But I was excited at the prospect of actually voting and being a part of the democratic process that our nation is known for (well, that and John Travolta). So as I am standing in the infant room, waiting my turn to vote, watching the other voters, I was caught up in the thought that these people cared enough to come out and vote. I got teary eyed!!! I got teary eyed at the polls? I am nutsos and thoroughly convinced the hormones were throwing a quiensenera in my body today.

So the high. . . the high for this week? This is a bit trickier to come up with. Its hard to remember the things I am proud about when I have just sunk to such a low. I am going to say that the high point of this week is the distinct feeling of Christmas coming!! Last week we had our first frost which, I am sad to say, killed off the last of the impatiens. I love fall, but there is a certain sadness that comes when the yard closes up shop for the winter. This means an end of going to parks, an end of outdoor tete-a-tetes with my friends, an end of flowers, and an end of jacket-free days! But it also means a beginning of sweaters, a beginning of Christmas music, a beginning of hot cocoa and cinnamon rolls, and the beginning of it being okay that I am completely without a tan. I remember standing in the middle of the Law parking lot at BYU my first year, almost in the middle of the night, and for a split second catching the scent of Christmas- I don't know what it was, but in that split second I felt a whoosh of happiness and coziness that this time of year brings. Well, I have caught the scent here and I am blasting the Christmas music, buying sweaters (they are fabulous, by the way), and restraining myself from setting out the Christmas decorations until at least the day after Thanksgiving.

So that's the complete, unadulterated truth (Yessss! I have always wanted to use that word!!). I am probably more honest than my ego would like me to be, but I have always liked living like an open book. I just hope you don't get too disgusted with me and close the book!!