Unpublished Posts

I recently went back and read through my unpublished posts. I had written them and they just didn't make the cut to be published. Some were too rude, others too dumb, and some just didn't make sense. But my favorite unpublished post was one I wrote a year ago, in the throws of a humid, hot summer. I know most people say they would rather be hot than cold, but I am completely the other way- bring on the cold. I have said it once, (who am I kidding, I have said it a hundred times), and I will say it again, heat is my own personal Dementor. It sucks all the happiness, optimism, compassion, or anything of good report out of me. I am just a big, sticky, grumpy pants in the heat. Last summer, to add to this, I was also cooking a baby in my belly, so I was even more hot, my butt was the size of Guam, and I had a ton of hormones throwing quinseneras in my body all the time. So I was understandable short fused.

I wrote a ranting post in this state and didn't have the guts to publish it at the time. But time has passed, it is currently 67 degrees outside, and the world is in harmony. I take an ownership over the things I write, like they are my babies. This one happens to be an ugly baby, with a goiter on its neck that I have kept hidden out of shame. Now I embrace it. It's time for this ugly post to rear it's goitered head. To me, I find something beautiful in all that angry honesty.



June 13, 2007

Blahhhh! I don't feel like sitting down and writing anything. I'm sure that's a great hook line to start off a post. In fact, as I am writing, I still don't have a clue what this post is going to be about. Another titillating line to keep you wanting more, I'm sure. I wish I had some tirade to rant on about. . . nope, things are fine. I wish I had some funny story that happened on the way to the forum. . . nope, nothing of interest. I wish I had some witty commentary on the fastidious habits of stay-at-home moms. . . but I don't really even know what 'fastidious' means. So I will just continue to ramble until I finally unearth whatever it is stuck up my derriere, clogging up my inspiration.

Today, Cody came home from school early, so we decided to go to the pool- Claire goes to swim, I go to make sure Claire doesn't drown while pretending to swim, and Cody goes to get a tan. While I was there, slathering sunscreen lotion on Claire (because all the sudden I am uba-paranoid about skin cancer) I heard my phone ring. I let it go to message since my hands were lotioned and Claire was nearly bouncing out of her skivvies to get into the water. I glanced at my phone quickly on my way to the water, to see that it was my sister, Michelle, who called. This was unusual, and it struck me unusual that it was unusual. It normally isn't unusual to have my sister call, but since the advent of the blog, IM, and email, I haven't heard Michelle's voice in months. That's so lame on my part. I am truly not a phone talker. Yet at the same time, I am slightly bothered by the fact I haven't talked to Shells in a while. I like to keep my sister's close- they are my best friends. So why the heck don't I call them ever?? That's a rhetorical question.

(Random note: I can hear Claire downstairs making pony noises. It is cracking me up!)

Well, its not helping- I still feel bottled up. So I am just going to start writing all the random thoughts that are occupying my mind.I don't like it when church members use their relationship with other church members to do business- awkward!! What I mostly mean is sales- Mary Kay, Cutco knives!, etc!! It makes it super uncomfortable when someone you know from church is putting on the pressure to buy a set of $900.00 knives. Because I am going to say no, and I am going to have to see you every Sunday from now on, and you will probably still be pressuring me with little hints (or flagrant hints) to try the six-month finance option. Stop!! I watched video's of Claire as a baby! It makes me a little sad to realize how much she has grown and changed. But it also makes me really excited to have another little baby come screaming into this world, in just a couple months. I don't like being criticized- I don't like any form of it. I use to think that I enjoyed brutal honesty- but good gravy- I can't stand it. Maybe I am just not as confident as I use to be, but don't even try to give me constructive criticism, because that is just as crappy. Why don't you just pull out all my eyelashes instead? I really enjoy reading, but only as long as its a good book. I read up those HP books like I eat candy- thoroughly and without regard to self-control or stomach sickness. And I have the same glutenous consequence with HP as I do with candy- its gone to fast and the next day I have a whole inside of me that is craving anything sweet- another good read like HP- but those are harder to come by than another bag of candy. (come on, July 21) I don't like being late, but I always am. Lately, I haven't been into watching t.v.. It almost drives me nuts to have to sit and watch anything. The one and glorious exception is of course- So You Think You Can Dance! Love it!!


Well, this post is basically filth and I doubt I will publish it. And it didn't help one iota.