No Pain, No Gain

Sometimes, something little, like a smell, or a fleeting image, will bring full force a feeling of nostalgia. I feel it physically. Sometimes its so fleeting, I don't quite recognize it, but I know its from my past. I often get nostalgic about college. It was so much fun. I made so many great friends, and it passed way too quickly. The strongest feelings of nostalgia, that pain me, are the ones when I think of someone I know I can never be friends like we were back then. Whether we have lost touch or I just get snippets of their life from emails, pictures, and Christmas cards, its not the same as living as roommates or working with them every day. It has been almost 6 years since I graduate college- I don't think I am handling the getting older thing very well. I just miss my friends.

Today as I was wrapping Christmas gifts I was brought back to memories of when I worked at the service desk at the BYU Bookstore and I wrapped gifts everyday. It quite possibly may be my favorite job of all time. Not just because I got to gift wrap all day, but because of my coworkers. One of my best friends, who I have lost contact with, was my boss Melinda. She was so much fun and helped me through some difficult times- my first heart break, roommate issues, and when I freaked out that I was graduating from BYU when I still felt so young. She always gave great advice and she was funnier than all get out. She is a great person, and as I was wrapping my gifts today, I thought about her, and how we would always tell our customers that we won the national championship of gift wrapping two years in a row, how we would order cinnamon sticks from pipeline pizza when we both had to work on Saturdays and eat the entire thing, and how she called me Brooke Harker Barker Baker when I dated a couple of guys with those last names. I haven't talked with her since I was pregnant with Claire. It is one friendship that I regret losing.

Cody, on the other hand, doesn't get nostalgic at all. He doesn't really keep in touch with friends from his past and I don't think that bothers him at all. So I wonder, is it better to be like Cody, living in the present, not dwelling on the past, or is it better to hold onto those feelings from the past, so you can always remember the great people and great events at the risk of feeling pain that those days are gone? I think I will take the pain, if it allows me to feel the happy memories I have.