Monday, December 04, 2006

Beware the Christmas Tree Diva

There are a few moments, just a few, in my life where I know I am being so petty and spoiled about such stupid things. I remember when my parents told me they had bought me a 'gold' car, I was so bugged all day at work, venting I was getting a car that fit right in with the decor of Donald Trump's pent house. Even as I was venting, I knew how incredibly stupid and spoiled I was being complaining about the color of a free car. (Side note- it turned out to be sandstone in color, which I love very much) So what follows is yet another diva moment for your enjoyment this holiday season.

On Saturday last, our little family decided to bundle up and embark on the jolly tradition of picking out a Christmas tree in the rustic and wild terrain of a Pittsburgh parking lot. So we set out for the Busy Beaver, a local hardware store, in hopes of finding trees there. On the way there we passed a teeny, tiny, not-quite-big-enough-to-be-called-a-parking-lot parking lot with a handful for Christmas trees set up and a sign declaring all trees to be $30 or less. So we decided to pull over and see if we could recapture the spirit of last years tree, making fun family memories in the process. I am always trying to make family events like this memorable and festive, so that even if Claire won't remember, Cody and I can look back and reminisce about the good times. So we hop out, Claire bundled in her cutest hat-coat-glove attire, but it still doesn't cut the bitter cold that swept into town the night before. So from the get go- she was a bit ticked to be there. No prob, we can still make this a great family outing and take a couple of really festive pictures of Claire picking out a tree.

My fun, family festive attitude began to evaperate faster that you can sing 'Oh Tanebaum'. As I start to browse the 30 or so trees that are out, I am not liking what I see. They were all basically the same kinda of tree- the wrong tree. I like the tree to be a delicate balance of thinness (so the ornaments will dangle) and fatness (I don't want to be seeing its unmentionables). But all the trees were the super full, light green variety, and slowly the diva started coming out of me. Cody would say, how about this one? No, too full. How about this one? No too full. How about this one? No, the top is to scrawny- and on and on for all 32 trees. The attendant offered to open up more trees that were still bound and stacked in the back. "We have hundreds more." Right, hundreds more just like these 32, no thanks. I told Cody I wanted to go somewhere else to look, but he looked at me like I was kidding and told me we would pick out one of these trees. So, even though I knew I was being way to picky, difficult, and a bit Mariah Carey, I tried to perk up and make it the fun Nelson family outing I had planned on. But the problem with me, is when I am not happy about something, I cannot pretend that I am. Cody kept asking, do you like this one, no, still to full, still too ugly. Harsh, I know. But the spoiled brat in me was coming out full force. Finally we picked a tree, which I thought was ugly, but probably the best out of the batch. It was crooked, had long branches in awkward places, and had a bald spot in the back and a tiny one in the front. Whatever, lets just get out of the blasted cold. We take it home and set it up, where finally Cody sees that it is in fact crooked. I even had the thought that this poor Christmas tree would have been stuck at the lot, watching all the other Christmas trees find homes unless someone, out of the goodness of their heart,gave this poor Christmas tree a home. But I sure as heck wasn't happy about it. It wasn't until Cody finally admitted, "Boy this tree is ugly" that I was finally appeased and I changed my attitude to a "lets make this tree sparkle" attitude.

So I just wanted to issue this warning from what I have learned- Watch out for the Christmas Tree Diva! She will reek havoc on your Christmas spirit, ruin potentially special family traditions, and make you look like a complete spoiled brat!

Another side note: this picture of Claire completely captures what I was feeling, and is the face of the Christmas Tree Diva- beware!

11 comments:

tharker said...

Love, love, love the picture of Claire! It looks like she was doing her best impression of Mommy Diva! I'm right there with you though. I'm extremely picky about trees. Of course last year we ended up with "The" Charlie Brown tree. But that's only because we had driven an hour and a half to cut down our stupid tree only to discover they were all ugly! By then the Diva in me just wanted to go home so we picked our ugly tree and went on our way. We still haven't picked one out yet for this year, but we are definitely not cutting one down again. I think Yoke's trees will do just fine!

Monica said...

Dear Diva, If I would have been there, I would have given you a slap in the face;) At least that tree has a warm, happy home to live in for the next little while before being ground up into mulch. And darn it, I bet you all had a good time decorating that tree. Let's ring in some Christmas Cheer!!

Shells said...

This is why I don't buy Christmas trees, or decorate for Christmas, or anything. I'm basically a nonfestive, bah-humbug!!!!!

I keep telling myself, "when we have a house, then we'll decorate." We'll see.

Shells said...

"Diva": When I was a sophmore, maybe a junior in college, I remember playing Trivial Pursuit with Al and Monica. I didn't know what the word "diva" meant and Al was beside himself in laughter.

I know what it means now (thanks to E! News Daily)

Shells said...

I amaze myself with how dumb I can be sometimes.

Shells said...

Heck, I'll leave a third pointless comment so that you feel loved.

Strange how I base my feelings of adequacy on how many comments I receive on my blog. I don't feel as loved as Brooke and Tiff (they get a lot of comments).

Brooklet said...

Well, I only get a lot of comments because you left four different comments, I feel loved!

I miss the old michelle- I remember when Monica had to tell us a bad word we had never even heard of before, and we were in college!!

Monica said...

what word was it? And what does that say about me??

Brooklet said...

I remember you telling us that it rhymed with punt, and me and Michelle still didn't have a clue.

I won't say what that says about you, except that you were married. I still suprised when a rude expression comes in a movie and I haven't ever heard of it but Cody had, but apparently boys learn a lot in the locker room.

Shells said...

I still don't know what word you are talking about. But that is okay. And Tom always says the same thing, about boys learning a ton in the locker room. I worry about Mikey and want the remaining of my children to be girls.

tharker said...

New post! New Post! New Post! heeheehee