Giraffes and Lady Bugs

Here is another I am a bad mother post. I think this is a popular topic because deep down we all feel a certain amount of guilt for not being the mother we think we should be. For those that don't think they are a bad mother-- we don't like you. One way to handle my guilt is to share my inadequacy with others, because once it's acknowledged, I know that they know that I know what a good mom knows and I just refuse to conform.

So here are my latest inadequacies. I feel that I have a certain dramatic flair in real life and when I am called upon to perform animal sounds, I step up to the plate. Claire asks me 'what does a horse say?' -- I give her the best winny followed by blubber that any animal linguist could give. That's our standard procedure when we look through books- Claire likes to ask me animal sounds just to make sure I still know what they say. I know this is a great learning tool for her; she is shaping her view of animals and the sounds that they make through me-- I am the authority. That's sounds pretty academic to me, and I should know. I did major in the incredibly academic major of marriage, family, and human development. Therefore, I am an expert in child rearing (also in children's rear ends, but thats besides the point). But the one thing that they don't teach, even after all the internships, observing, and research, is what to do when a child asks you what a giraffe says. What does a giraffe say? Claire is depending on me to show her the way, so I do what any other good mother would do- I made up a noise. This particular noise is high pitched, a bit like the sound of a raptor. Isn't it funny that I know the sound of a raptor which doesn't exist anymore, but I have no clue what a giraffe says, even though I have seen them in person dozens of times. So Claire, being the brilliant sponge that she is, now believes giraffes have a high pitched "ork"ing sound. It is the funniest thing to listen to her point to the giraffe and give her much higher pitch "ork". She is going to be made fun of at school, I know it. They just don't prepare you for stuff like this in college.

So not only do I not know a lot of animal sounds (my zebra sound is horrible) I am a slacker mom with her counting! Claire learned to count because every time we went up the stairs (ands in Pittsburgh, there are stairs everywhere) we counted each step. She was counting to 14 (the number of stairs we have in our house) by 18 months. But now that she can basically bound up and down the stairs on her own, I haven't been counting with her. I didn't consciously not count with her and I didn't realize the adverse affects until this month. She started counting things, 1,2,3,4,6,9. . . I tried to remind her about the 5 and the 7 and 8, but the 4,6,9 pattern is stuck, solid. So I have been doing intensive Ten Little Ladybug training with her, night after night. I make her count it right or else she doesn't get supper. Even after days and days, grueling night after night of 10 ladybugs sitting on a log. . . she still counts 4,6,9. She is determined, and now I have a constant reminder of the half-@$$ed job I am doing as a mother.